Apparently Thursdays are good days for “ten things that I’m thinking about this week and nobody really knows why” posts. If you missed last week’s 10 things, you can learn about how weird I am here.
Also, this post should probably be titled “10 Things That Happen When You Buy a Fixer Upper and You’re a First Time Home Buyer Who Thought You Could Conquer Every DIY Project,” but that’s really long. If you were lucky enough to buy a house that doesn’t need anything fixed, then congrats – my cracked skin, regular exhausted state and sore muscles are envious of you. Also, I’m pretty sure very little of this will apply to you and you’ll be glad your house was move-in ready.
1. Home improvement stores become your life. You won’t think about new shoes, or books (unless they’re DIY/home related), or new foods to try – you’ll think about everything that these stores have on sale that week. And you’ll go to these stores three times a week for one or two things every time, yet you’ll somehow always walk out with dozens of items that you didn’t know you needed.
2. You’ll understand that there are actually fifty shades of gray that you can paint your bedroom and all of them will actually look different, making selecting a paint color pretty much the most impossible task on Earth. And you’ll fight about it, even though you swore you would never fight about something so petty and ridiculous.
3. Things you never gave much thought to before – like door knobs, blinds, light switch covers, and baseboards – will suddenly be some of the most interesting things in your day. If you find the perfect one in someone else’s house, you’ll be inclined to ask them where they bought it in the middle of them telling you about the promotion they just got because you suddenly just completed the perfect look in a room and that’s way more important.
4. You’ll know the difference between dozens of types of flooring that you could never tell the difference between prior to that purchase. Suddenly laminate and vinyl look different and serve totally different purposes. And before you’re even on top of tile, you know whether it’s porcelain or ceramic and that they’re both actually ceramic tiles which is obviously not confusing at all.
5. Suddenly, the 100+ different types of saws that you kind of knew existed all have a different purpose that you actually understand. And you will feel the need to buy every single one of them for that project that you plan on doing some day after the first sixty projects are completed.
6. You’ll turn into a silent home snob who will notice imperfections on houses you drive by or even ones you go inside of that you never saw prior to you buying the house. You’ll know you’re doing it and kind-of, maybe want to turn it off – but deep down, you know that these imperfections are boosting your ego about the house you just purchased so you don’t make any effort to end it.
7. You find new muscles that you had no idea existed that will make you wonder if ripping up your carpet was really worth it, or if you should have just hired a professional. You reason with yourself that once you literally pour your blood, sweat and tears into a DIY project (or ten) and see the finished project, it’ll be worth it. That reasoning will only last for about an hour of the first project – it will only be completed because you’re too proud to ask for help and not because you know you’ll be proud you accomplished it.
8. Security starts to matter. You never thought twice about if your door was locked on your rental, but you suddenly have OCD when it comes to locking the doors in your new place. And then, when you’re still in the process of moving into the new house so you’re not there full-time, you have regular doom and gloom thoughts about your new house being broken into even though there is hardly anything in it.
9. You’ll realize that HGTV and the DIY Network may say they’re showing you the nitty gritty, down and dirty steps in each process of household renovations – but they don’t. And I know this because I’ve never seen a show what appears to be a crazed homeless person who, in reality, is actually a sweaty and bloody home-owner screaming obscenities at the POS flooring that just didn’t install in the “five easy steps” the Home Depot employee promised it would.
10. You will set aside time to relax or to do real “non-house related” work, only to find yourself browsing Pinterest for home ideas and paint combinations for hours. Free-time that doesn’t involve your new house will almost cease to exist and you’ll be okay with that to the point that you embrace it and write a blog post about it.